Alive
by samanddianefan10
Summary: Together they'd get through this. They had each other, and as it turns out, that was all they needed. now updated with ch 14 and 15.
1. Chapter 1

He'd come so close to losing her. This time, he really thought she was dead. For some reason, that thought bothered him more than any other loss, even his brother's. It shouldn't be this way. Daryl Dixon did not care about anyone else. He was out to survive, at all costs. So when he found Carol out in the wilderness, cold, alone, suffering, it was almost more than he could stand.

Daryl knew he could be a cold person. But what he recognized in Carol was at that moment was that she'd lost the one thing that had kept her going- kept them all going- hope. She truly didn't care if she lived or died anymore. She was broken, and for once Daryl didn't know how to fix things.

He studied her closely for a few minutes. He knew that if he were in her shoes he wouldn't want anyone seeing him like that. He'd heard Carol's cries many times, but this time she wasn't crying. She was staring down the barrel of her gun, and there was only one way out for her.

It couldn't go down like this. She'd come so far, gotten away from that asshole husband of hers, survived the loss of a child, but what was it that had made her snap? They were all surviving, well, most of them anyways, and that had to count for something.

He couldn't let her do this. Whatever it was that brought them together, and this was not the way he would ever want to know her, something always led him back to her. Always. And now she was all alone, left with her thoughts, which could be the worst place a person could be.

It was almost better when they were fighting the walkers. Together they all made a hell of a team, and they needed one another. Daryl didn't admit to anyone that he needed someone else, least of all a female, but he'd come to need Carol. She could be counted on to follow her heart. There was something so mysterious about a person who could wear their heart on their sleeves. He was different- he was born different. He kept himself so guarded that most people gave up on him before they got to know him. But Carol hadn't given up on him. She supported him, she _believed _in him. Why, he didn't know. Most of the time he felt like there wasn't much worth seeing in himself, but she never gave up. At least not on him. The least he could do was return the favor, at least when she needed someone to not give up on her. She'd given up on herself. Daryl understood the feeling too well. It was a crazy world, too much to believe sometimes. But just as he was a survivor, he recognized that Carol was too, and there was no way he was going to let her go down like this. Not if he could help it.

"Something catch your fancy?" He announced himself, clearing his throat.

"Go away Daryl." She didn't even look up at him.

"Is there something you'd like to say?"

No response.

He was starting to get pissed. "You know I can take out that gun with one shot. You might not have a hand left, but you know I always get what I aim for."

"I'm not hurting anyone. I just want to be with her," Carol sobbed quietly, thinking of her late daughter.

"You know I can't let you do this."

"Why? Why does it matter? Why does anything matter anymore? What do we have to live for? What do I have to live for? You give me one good reason why I shouldn't do this and then I'll put the gun down." She stared up at him for what seemed like an eternity.

"Go on," she repeated herself quietly but firmly. "One good reason."

He thought about what he wanted to say. "I can't."

She loaded the gun. "Then just let me be."

Daryl ran over to Carol, knocking her to the ground causing the gun to fall from her hands. As he lay on top of her, he looked at her, really looked at her for the first time. Eye contact wasn't his thing, but if that was the best weapon to keep her alive, well then he'd go about any means necessary to save her.

She struggled at first. He ordered her to keep quiet, then placed his hand over her mouth. The tears were falling down Carol's face steadily, and he hated that. He never could stand to see a woman cry. His daddy had made his mama cry so many times, almost every night, and ever since then it always bothered him to see a woman cry. She reached around, trying to find her gun with her free hand, but Daryl wouldn't have any of it.

"Just let me go," she repeated over and over again until the tears came for real this time. A flood of tears fell down her face, and all Daryl wanted to do was to make her stop, to make her come to her senses.

"I won't let you go," he growled, pulling his body weight on top of her.

"I can't...I can't do this anymore. I can't be the person I've become. You don't understand..."

"What don't I understand? You think I'm stupid? You think I'm just a dumb redneck who doesn't know shit about life? I know about life, Carol. I know what we've become, what we've all become. But does that mean we should quit just because life gets a little hard? I'm many things but I'm not a quitter. I thought you were different. Turns out I was wrong."

Daryl stood up, and handed her back her gun. "Do what you need to do. I don't care anymore."

It was the last little word at the end of the sentence that clicked with Carol. Anymore. That meant he did care. Sometimes she had suspected him of caring, but he didn't show it. But now, by handing her the gun, he had actually showed her that he did care. And now she had found the reason to keep on hanging on that she'd come out to the fields searching for.

"Daryl," Carol called out, causing him to turn around.

Before he could protest, he found himself on the receiving end of Carol's ardent embrace. She started kissing him, kissing at the nape of his neck, planting traces of heartache and fury all along his face. He didn't care anymore. He pulled her back to study her, and then he did the unthinkable. He kissed her back, this time not caring what the consequences might be.

She found herself actually wanting to do what she'd learned to hate through her husband. Neither of them knew what was happening, and neither one cared. They were feeling something, who knew what it was, but Carol had a sinking feeling she knew what it was that she was feeling. She was feeling alive. And Daryl was feeling it too.

He touched her face, almost afraid of the tears that had stained her delicate features. She really was an attractive woman. He understood why her hair was so short- that didn't bother him. She was real, and she was in front of him, and though it scared him he didn't pull back. Not this time.

Afterwards, Daryl sat with his arms and legs wrapped around Carol. This might be a one time thing, this might be an ongoing thing. But for now, they had each other. The others would be looking for them if they were gone too long, but at that moment they were alive again, born again really, and both of them knew that they could go on, if only for another day.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: this takes place at the farm, shortly after Sophia died. It will continue to take place at the farm for some time, therefore making it quite AU. I hope you enjoy this.**

"Where were you?" Rick demanded as he saw Daryl return empty handed.

"Out." Daryl never was a man of many words.

"Did you find her?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Carol. We need to account for everyone, but I haven't seen her."

"Wouldn't you want to be alone after your kid died?" Daryl hadn't meant to sound that harsh, but he sure as hell didn't want Rick or anyone to know what had just happened between himself and Carol.

"Look, if you know something you need to tell me...now!" Rick demanded, getting in Daryl's face.

Daryl was not one to back down from a challenge. He stood face to face with the unofficial group leader. "She'll be back."

Rick thought about it for a minute. Daryl was one of the few he could depend on. If he said that Carol was safe, that was good enough for him. He had enough to worry about with Lori, the baby, Carl, and even Hershel, so for now it felt a somewhat relief not to worry about yet another person.

Rick nodded his head, then slowly made his way back into the farm.

Of course Daryl knew that Carol was safe. There was no way he'd let anything happen to her, not after Sophia. He hadn't been particularly fond of the kid- he wasn't exactly a natural born babysitter- but even he knew that Sophia didn't deserve what had happened to her. He was just glad that he wasn't the one to pull the trigger on the Walker Sophia. Carol may not have forgiven him for that. Why he cared so much about what she thought of him, he didn't know, but he just knew that was one shot he couldn't have made.

He tried to put thoughts about what had just happened between himself and Carol out of his mind. It was no big deal, he rationalized. It was a one time thing. It would never happen again. He'd let his guard down, and for that he kind of hated himself. But she brought out something in him that he couldn't quite figure out. It all started once he figured out what that asshole husband of hers had been doing.

He'd seen it all too often. His daddy was a mean one, all right. After a night of drinking, which was nearly every night, he'd come home and take it out on his and Merle's mother. She tried to hide, the same way Carol did, but she couldn't explain the bruises. Then there were the awful cries that happened at night. At the time he was too young to realize it, but after growing up he knew what his father had done to his mother. Maybe he was scared of turning into his father- that could have been why he tended to shy away from the opposite sex. But Carol- she was different. She wasn't like other women. She was okay, he decided, although he'd never admit it to anyone. He had a hard enough time admitting it to himself.

About an hour later, Carol returned to the farm. She looked for one person only,. And she knew where she'd find him.

"Hey," she smiled softly as she attempted to touch Daryl's arm. He pulled back.

"Don't you ever sneak up on me like that again! Don't you know I could have killed you?"

"I'm sorry...I just..." she took a deep breath. "Never mind."

"Tell me," he ordered.

"You want me to be honest with you? I will. I will never lie to you. It's just that Sophia was my last comfort. I could touch her, brush her hair, hold her, feel safe when I was with her. And after what happened...after everything that's happened...I never thought I would ever let myself be touched again. And I'm not just talking about what happened between us. I mean, I never thought I would find comfort in a human being. I'm tired, Daryl. I'm so tired."

He studied her closely. Damn it. Why did she have to be so honest? If she lied to him, manipulated him, she could be dismissed as one of his father's other women- the bitches. But he knew that Carol was being honest with him, and it made him uncomfortable.

"Don't get used to it," he finally spoke up.

"It doesn't have to be that way. We could...we could have an understanding."

Very few things shocked him, but this statement had. "I told you it can't happen again. What part of that don't you understand?"

"I just thought..."

"What, you thought rainbows would appear from the sky and it would start raining puppy dogs and kittens from above? This changes nothing, Carol. Nothing."

He shook his head as he stormed off. Carol watched him leave, wondering if she would ever feel the same kind of comfort and peace that she had momentarily experienced with Daryl again.


	3. Chapter 3

She knew it the first time she got sick. She never got sick, unless it had been with Sophia. She wasn't quite sure what to do. Part of her felt an overwhelming sense of joy, but it had been marred by fear and dread of the future. She knew who she had to talk to.

"Lori..." Carol pulled her friend aside. "Can I...can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. Carl don't wander off. Always where I can see you," Lori reminded her son.

"Lori," Carol started off again, wondering if she should even be having this conversation with anyone. "How did you know...never mind that's none of my business."

"How did I know what?"

"About you know..."

Lori's face turned white. "Oh God, not you too! What have you done, Carol?"

"I knew I shouldn't have come to you. I just didn't have anywhere else to go."

"Does Daryl know?"

Carol's jaw dropped. "What does Daryl have anything to do with this? You don't think...you don't think he's the father do you?"

"Of course he is, sweetie. We all see the looks, the way you've bonded. He risked his life for your daughter. Don't think I wouldn't find that appealing...if I were single of course."

They both laughed. "You can't tell him."

"Why not? He has a right to know."

"I can't do this to him. I can't drag him down like this. I want him but not like this."

"Sweetie," Lori said gently, "this is practically the end of the world, or at least the end of the world as we know it. How many chances for a miracle do you think you'll have?"

Her friend smiled. "Do you think that's what it is? A miracle?"

"Love is always a miracle."

"I don't ….I never said anything about loving Daryl."

"I was talking about the baby." They both laughed.

"Is that how you see yours? As a miracle?"

"Not at first, but now that I've come to terms with things, then yes, that's what I think this baby is. A miracle. And that's what yours is too, even if you don't see it right now."

Lori smiled and inadvertently placed her hand over her stomach. "That's what this is, isn't it? I just have no idea of how to tell Daryl. You know him, he's so stubborn and private...the last thing he needs is some woman tying him down. Maybe it's better if I left."

"I'm not letting you leave. We both know what's out there. Is that how you want to live? Or..."

Lori didn't have to finish her statement; Carol knew what she meant. She bowed her head down. "I just...I never planned on this happening."

"Do you think Rick and I did?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend..."

"It's okay, Carol. I know you wouldn't hurt anyone. And I think Daryl knows that about you. So take your time. It will be okay."

"Are you sure about that?"

Lori squeezed Carol's hand. This was crazy. It was all happening too fast,too soon. And now Carol feared she would lose not only the person she now cared most about, but she would lose her best friend. And that was one thought that saddened her more than almost anything else.

tbc


	4. Chapter 4

For the next few weeks Carol tried to avoid Daryl whenever she could. True, she would go join the others whenever the stray walker would show up, but for the most part, she stayed out of his sight. The morning sickness was getting harder and harder to hide. But fortunately for her it came about the same time every day, so she would go for a stroll, returning as soon as her discomfort subsided.

She had mixed feelings about the baby. No one could take Sophia's place, and even though her husband of so many years tried to make her doubt herself, she knew that she was a good mother. She went through phases where she blamed herself for Sophia's death, but she tried to keep her feelings to herself. An emotional person anyways, it was getting harder and harder to hide her mood swings, but she knew that the last thing Daryl needed was to be saddled with a kid. She wanted him, just not this way.

Lori had been supportive. She'd offered words of wisdom, and looked after her. Lori of all people understood Carol's reasons for not announcing her condition, although it was eating up at her conscience to keep something like that from her husband. One morning, Rick commented on Carol's frequent disappearances.

"It's okay, Rick," Lori tried to reassure her husband. "She's just trying to deal with things...deal with Sophia, you know."

"Well that's fine and well, but she knows we need to stick together. She's not thinking, and I'm going to say something to her today."

"Please," she grabbed Rick's arm. "Don't pressure her. She really needs to be left alone."

"Do you know what happens to people who are left alone?" Rick practically yelled. "We're shrinking as a group all the time, and that's the last thing I want. I am going to talk to her," he emphasized.

"You can't do it. Not now. Let me handle it."

"No, Lori. You're a good person and I love you for it, but she has to hear the truth. We can't afford another long drawn out search for someone that will have an unhappy ending. I'm not going through that again." He loaded his gun and began to walk towards the woods.

"Rick, she's pregnant," Lori blurted out.

He turned and stared at her in shock. "What are you talking about?"

"Never mind, I shouldn't have told you..."

"Well you did. What do you mean she's pregnant? Who is the father?"

Lori took a deep breath. She hated keeping things from her husband. "Daryl," she whispered.

Now Rick was really shocked. "You mean her and Daryl..."

"I think it was a one time thing. I'm not really sure. She didn't tell me much about it. But the fact is she has feelings for him. But you know Daryl..the closer you get to him the more he'll push you away."

"So she hasn't even told him?"

Lori shook her head.

"Well if she doesn't I will. He needs to know, Lori."

"Please don't. She'll never forgive me for telling you."

"Daryl needs to know. He has every right to know..."

"Know what?" Daryl approached them. Rick and Lori looked at each other.

"Know what? If you guys are keeping something from me you'd better tell me now."

Rick squeezed Lori's hand. She finally spoke up. "Daryl," she said softly. "Carol's pregnant."

He stared at her in disbelief. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I know you don't want to hear it but you need to know." Now it's Rick's turn to speak up. "While she goes out every morning doing God knows what she's putting us all at risk, especially herself. I know the responsibility, man, I really do. But you gotta step up to the plate. She needs you, especially now."

"Talk about responsible? Lori could be having another guy's baby. Oh come on, Rick, don't tell me you didn't know about her and Shane. We all did."

Rick turned to stare at Lori. He had no idea about this, but for some reason he believed Daryl. There would be time to deal with that. For now he had to worry about finding Carol, and he knew that Daryl would know where to find her.

"Go to her," Lori spoke up. "She needs you more than ever now."

"You think I need her? You think I need any of you? To hell with you all, man," Daryl responded angrily before adjusting his bows and storming off.

00000

Of course he knew where to find her. She was about a mile off of the place that she usually went to to be alone. He stormed up to her.

"When were you going to tell me?" He demanded from her.

She didn't look at him. "I wasn't."

"Something like that's a little hard to hide, don't you think?"

"I was going to run away."

"In this world? Are you crazy? Do you know how fast you'd get taken by one of them? Do you really think I'm going to let that happen to you...or to my child?"

"I didn't want this, not like this," she said, a single tear staining her face.

He knelt beside her. He didn't say anything; instead he pulled her close to him. "I can't let you leave, Carol."

"Why not? We both know that the baby and I would just hold you back. I don't want that for you, Daryl. You're a survivor, you know how to take care of yourself. Do you really think you can continue to do that saddled with a baby? You don't even like kids."

He didn't say anything, instead he just pulled her close to him. This was the last thing he'd been expecting, but for some reason he didn't _hate _the idea. It just was a surprise, but he knew that Carol was many things, but she'd always been a good mother.

"I watched you with Sophia, you know," he admitted.

"You told me it was my fault she disappeared." It wasn't an accusation, just a statement of truth.

"You know I didn't mean it. It's just that...well I kind of took it personally when we didn't find her. Not until the barn."

She looked at him in surprise. "Why? She wasn't your kid. You told me that also."

"I can't explain it. She gave me something to do, I guess."

"Well you won't have to worry. I don't expect anything from you."

"Damn it! I'm trying to help you and you won't listen to me! Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I have the right words to say to make this better for you?"

She wiped her face. "I know, Daryl. It's okay."

"Do you really think it's going to be okay?"

She wanted to tell him that it would be, that it would be fine, but for once she was at a loss for words. That, Daryl understood. He didn't always have the right answer for anything, and for the first time, he was starting to see a bit of himself in Carol, and it scared the hell out of him. She ran off to get sick, and he followed behind her. She didn't have any long hair to pull out of her face, but she did have a back, and he rubbed it, almost grateful for the distraction. He knew he this was his fault- he should have said no to Carol when she initiated what she had, but it had been a very long time for him. And by the looks of things, it was bound to be a long next few months. When she was done she took a sip of the bottled water she'd carried with her, and he didn't say anything. Instead, he took her hand, and the two of them sat together, just enjoying the quiet. With a baby to deal with, they knew that they had better value whatever quiet time they could each find. Daryl didn't know what he would do next, but he knew he'd be keeping an extra close eye on Carol. At that moment he realized he didn't know what he would do if he lost her.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

Now it was Daryl's turn to wander off. He needed time to think about what had happened. Him, a father? There was no doubt in his mind that that was his kid. If it was any other woman he would have blamed them, yelled at them, accused them of nasty things. But for some reason he couldn't do that to her. What reason would she have to lie about something like this? She wouldn't, and he realized that. The fact was, the baby changed the game of survival they were all playing. For better or worse, he would make it out of this thing alive. He had to. He had a reason to keep going.

What kind of father would he be? He knew that he would never lay a hand on Carol or the baby. He wasn't like his daddy that way. But a kid? Was he really ready for something like this? And what about Carol- what was it she needed from him? She wasn't helpless, but she wasn't strong, either. She'd just lost her kid. If this was happening to any other man, he might even feel a little happy for Carol. She was all of the things he'd just thought about, but she was also a good mother. She deserved a break.

But then there was the logistics of things. Daryl was a realist. Two crying babies- they would attract walkers like nothing else ever had. And if something happened to Carol's baby- his baby- he honestly didn't know what he would do. So as he practiced his shots with his bow and arrows, his mind went all over the place, from thinking this was the best thing to happen to Carol to it being the worst thing to happen to the group.

This was going to be such a pain. They would have to find diapers- they very well couldn't use leaves, take a chance on poison ivy they way he'd used it once. The sad thing was, baby clothes couldn't be that hard to find. It was the crying that scared him the most.

Would he even know how to comfort a crying baby? For that, he had no idea, and wasn't sure he would be the kind of father Carol needed him to be. Would he pick the kid up at two in the morning to quiet it, or would he let Carol handle all of the responsibilities? Speaking of responsibility, he knew it wasn't the wisest choice to do with her what he had, but it had been so long, and she was there, and she needed him. And to be honest, he had needed her too, at least for that moment.

Once again he could hear the familiar sound of Carol's sickness. Part of wanted to go to her, to take care of her, but he did have to keep up with his skills, especially now. There was no way he'd let anything happen to that kid, no matter what it took. If it meant shooting the brains out of every walker he'd seen, then so be it. The kid would stand a chance as long as he was around.

Merle. What would happen if they did find Merle, and he found out about the baby? It wouldn't be good. He'd just enforce every doubt he had in his mind about fatherhood, and worse. This was the first time in his life he kind of hoped they wouldn't find his brother. He never thought he'd feel that way, but things had changed. And what a change it was.

And then there was Carol. He wanted to resent her for what had happened, but for some reason he couldn't. Oh he'd take things out on her. But one reason Daryl respected her was that she could take the shit he gave her at times. She was a survivor of many things, and the last thing he wanted to become was another Ed or his father, but the thought terrified him. Honestly he had no idea how he'd be with a kid. So he concentrated on his shots, trying to put those unpleasant thoughts behind him.

Rick came up to him. "You seen Carol?"

"She's around here. Getting sick. You know how that goes," Daryl replied noncommittally.

"That was Lori. I got up this morning and she was gone. I figured you'd know..."

Daryl glared at him. "You think she's my responsibility?"

Rick didn't say anything but the look on his face told him everything. "Lori thinks she went into town to get baby stuff."

"Shit," Daryl muttered. "She's gonna get herself killed."

"Do you want me to go?"

Daryl put his arrow back in his case and then he shook his head. He ran to his motorcycle, and left to find God knew what.

He looked around, trying to figure out where he could be. There was a rotted out department store so he parked his bike, readied his bow, and slowly made his way in.

He looked around. It looked quiet, but sure enough, there she was, picking through baby and kids clothes. He grabbed her arm causing her to scream. He covered her mouth with his hand.

He wanted to yell at her, wanted to tell her how stupid she was. But he couldn't do it. She looked so happy sorting out clothes. So he grabbed a handful (he noticed she had picked out girl clothes) and then grabbed her hand.

Once they were on the bike, he was ready to take off, when Carol announced that she had forgotten something. To his protest she ran back in. She wasn't out in a few minutes.

He hurried back in, not prepared for in the least at what he had found. Carol was cornered by a team of walkers, and he knew he had to act fast. One wrong shoot could take her and the baby out. One wrong shoot meant they'd turn on him and he'd be toast. So he closed his eyes for a second, took out his arrow, and aimed. The next sound he'd heard was a woman's scream.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

The arrows came fast and furiously. Each one was deliberate, aimed at a particular walker. Carol helped out by bringing out her gun, and between the two of them the horde was taken care of. That was, until one who apparently survived Daryl's shot grabbed Carol by the ankle. Before she could react he took his last arrow and aimed it at his target, ensuring Carol's safety. She looked up at Daryl with appreciation.

"Got what you were looking for?" he asked sarcastically before pulling her up.

"I had to..."

"Next time I'm coming into town," he declared without question.

"I can't let you do that," she sighed.

"I'm coming into town," he emphasized.

She was too tired and too weak to argue. They hopped back on his motorcycle and took off, navigating between walkers.

When Carol and Daryl got back, Rick approached them. "Where were you?" he demanded of Carol. She said nothing.

"Did you get what you were looking for?"

"It's taken care of," Daryl responded calmly before walking away.

Carol pulled Lori aside and handed her some of the clothes that she'd fought to get.

"You might need these more than I do," Lori smiled as she received them.

"I think we'll be able to share. It's okay." Carol started to walk away before Lori stopped her.

"Did you have any trouble?"

Carol said nothing. Instead she retreated to her room where she could put her loot away safely.

Daryl entered Carol's room without knocking. She didn't know what to say to him. Instead she was surprised when he approached her and kissed her without warning. Caught off guard, Carol didn't protest. She gave in easily to his advances, and when they finished, she looked at him.

"Does this ...does this mean something?" she asked meekly.

"What do you think?" he growled.

"I think it does. At least I hope it does. Sometimes I swear it means something to you as well."

"Well don't get your hopes up. I ain't the marrying kind."

"I'm not asking for marriage. I'm not asking you to be anything other than what you are."

He stared at her. "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

She smiled. "Think about it."

"Whatever." he shook his head as he walked out of his room. He ran almost directly into Rick, who stared at him curiously. But by the look on Daryl's face, Rick knew not to question him.

Daryl went outside, not knowing what he was looking for. It was possible that he'd already found what he was looking for, he surmised, but that would be huge. He was going to be a father. He could have lost his kid just an hour earlier to the walkers. He shook his head at the thought. There was no way he was going to lose this kid to them. If it meant keeping a closer eye on Carol, so be it. Damn it, he thought bitterly. He just couldn't get away from her no matter how hard he tried. Why did this have to happen? Why did any of this have to happen?

He saw a squirrel run across the lawn, and his instinct was to see it as food. But his mind was elsewhere. There were no easy answers, that much was for sure.


	7. Chapter 7

Rick was lying in bed, talking to Lori one night. "do you think they have a chance? Really?"

She smiled. "Why not? I mean it's not like they hate each other."

"Do you think they love each other?"

Lori paused. "Whatever love is."

"You know I love you and Carl, don't you?"

"And what about this baby? Our baby?"

He rolled over. He wasn't ready to confront Lori, but the fact was, that could be Shane's kid she was carrying, even if he didn't like to think about it.

She turned over and tried to sleep. It was always hard whenever her husband shut her out. She knew he didn't like confrontation with her, anyways, but for once she would like him to yell at her, call her names, get it out of his system. Instead she was left wondering where she stood with him, and that wasn't a good feeling at all.

0000

Daryl was still pretty pissed about what had almost happened to Carol, so he tried to avoid her and the rest of the group for the next few days. He didn't leave the farm- he wasn't that stupid. But he knew at some point he would have to go and get baby supplies for Carol and Lori, and that he was the right man to do it. Some people talked a good game, but Daryl knew that he could back up his talk with his actions.

He walked over to Sophia's grave, where he'd carefully planted a flower. He had a lot to think about. As he knelt down over the grave he couldn't stop thinking about how he'd failed Sophia, how he'd failed Carol. If he couldn't keep an older kid alive how the hell was he going to keep a baby alive? The thought terrified him, though he would never say it to Carol. She needed him to be strong, and if there was one thing he was good at, it was hiding his emotions and playing strong. It had been drilled in him so long that he honestly believed he could handle whatever came his way. True, he had a temper, but these were kids for heaven's sake! Sophia, Carl, Lori's baby,...and of course, his kid.

This was his kid's sister's grave he was looking at. He reached over and grabbed a handful of the still fresh dirt and held it in his hands. It shouldn't have been this way. No kid deserved what them walkers did, he thought bitterly. There was something about Sophia that gave him purpose, something to do with his time other then sit around and become walker bait. With Sophia gone, Daryl supposed he had this...thing...with Carol to occupy him, but he knew that could be dangerous. If he let his guard down, he could get hurt, both physically and emotionally, and he wasn't sure he was ready for that.

"Nice day," a familiar voice approached him from the side. It was the side, within eye range, never from behind. A person could lose their life that way.

"You call this nice?"

Carol sighed. "It might be better than the world we're living in."

He stood up and stared her down. "Then what the hell are we doing bringing a kid into this world, knowing they are everywhere. They got my brother, they got your kid, they got your husband...shall I count how many people they got?"

"I'm not sorry they got Ed," Carol admitted.

Daryl watched her. That was probably the only cruel thing he'd ever heard her say, and he couldn't say that he blamed her for that.

"At first I felt like it was my fault. If I hadn't let Shane beat him up then he could have fought them off."

"Not everything's your fault," Daryl muttered. He knew the thinking. His mama had been the same way.

"I'm beginning to see that. In a way this kid is a fresh start. No more reminders of Ed. No more reminders of those nights..." she stopped when she saw how uncomfortable Daryl was becoming. "Anyways Sophia's in a better place. I will always love her, I can promise you that."

To her surprise Daryl slipped Carol his hand. He'd been thinking the same thing, about remembering Sophia, but he wasn't ready to share that with Carol. Besides, it was like she knew what he was thinking, and just said it aloud for the both of them.

"I still think about running away," she admitted quietly.

"Is that what the run to the store was about? So you can fend for yourself?" He became angry and turned to stare at her, squeezing her hand a little harder than he'd meant to.

"Does it matter if I go? You saw how I kept the whole group down, looking for Sophia. I can't put them through that again."

"Will you stop crying? Do you think that will bring her back? Do you think that will change things? Sophia's dead. You're carrying my kid. Do you honestly think I'd let you run off now? If you do- I promise you this one thing. No matter where you go, I will find you. You can run to Fort Bening, you can run to the ends of the earth- but I will find you."

Carol apologized, then knelt back by her daughter's grave. She saw the flower that Daryl had planted- she knew it was him- and touched it. They didn't speak to each other for the rest of the day. They didn't need to. Daryl had finally spoken up,and she knew how he felt about her. He might not have the words to say it, but she finally saw that he needed her as much as she needed him- maybe more so. As she watched him walk away, she smiled through her tears. She would always miss Sophia- some days were harder than most. But for the first time in a very long time, she felt alive- she placed her hand on her stomach and she allowed herself to feel nothing but safe. It was a dangerous position to put herself in, but she knew Daryl meant what he said. He would find her, and for that, she was starting to feel grateful.


	8. Chapter 8

It was a few months later and by then everyone realized what was going on between Daryl and Carol. He'd long stopped caring what others were thinking. One night Carol was getting ready for bed when the door opened.

In walked Daryl carrying all of his belongings..

"what are you doing?" she asked groggily.

"I'm stayin' with you."

"Why?" Not that she was unhappy about it, it was just such a huge step for them.

"Someone's got to keep you safe," he replied gruffly as he started putting his stuff in the bottom few drawers.

"You'd do that for me?" she smiled.

"I'm doing it for my kid, that's all."

"I can protect her," she replied, to which Daryl shot her a dirty look. She knew what that meant. He didn't think she protected Sophia. Fresh thoughts of her daughter came to her mind, and she rolled over, not wanting him to see her cry.

He didn't yell at her. Instead he crawled in beside her and at first he didn't know what to do. He just put his arm over her, and let her work out what she needed to. It was uncomfortable for him, but sometimes, every so often, he would know the right thing to do.

Nothing happened between them that night. But having him hold her all night was better than sex, really, for she allowed herself to feel safe. Maybe he was right. Maybe she did need him to protect their child.

In the middle of the night Carol suddenly asked. "Do you ever wonder what it will be?"

"Now why would I do that?"

"It's a girl. I'm sure of that. Sophia's spirit will live on."

He took his time in answering. "I hope you're right."

She turned to face him and smiled. Sometimes, when he gave, which wasn't often, it could be so...nice.

"I don't have any boy clothes you know."

"We won't need them," he replied. "It's a girl."

"How can you be so sure? What if it's a boy? I don't know how to raise a boy."

he pulled her closer to him. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her he watched her with Carl, that she would be fine with any others. But this was such a big step that he couldn't be that open with her, not yet.

Just then they heard a noise. They both sat up and Daryl grabbed his bow. He shushed Carol and motioned for her to stay put while he went to investigate, ever so slowly.

Turned out it was just Lori looking for a bite to eat. He shot her a dirty look, angry that she'd worried him about his kid, then returned to Carol.

He crawled back into bed with her, then proceeded to wrap his arm around her.

She wasn't facing him, which made things easier. "I love you, Daryl," she whispered. At first she wasn't sure that he heard her, but she knew that he had. She also knew that he probably hadn't been told that many times in his life, so she wasn't expecting anything in return. But she had to say it. She'd been thinking that way for a while, so if it had caught him by surprise, it hadn't totally been one to her.

He rolled over, releasing her from his embrace. Love. What the hell was that, anyways? Love made you weak. It made you crazy. Look what happened to Shane. He sure wasn't going to turn out like him, not if he could help it. What was Carol thinking, anyways?

Now it was Carol's turn to roll over and hold on to her lover. She didn't say anything else- she didn't want to scare him away. But she had him, and for now that was all she needed.


	9. Chapter 9

Daryl had never been in love before, so he didn't always get the give and take of a relationship. It wasn't until the day Carol gave birth that he knew without a doubt he was in love. With Carol, yes, but most importantly, with his newborn son.

A son. He and Carol had become convinced she would have a girl, so the thought of him having a son had honestly never crossed his mind. But the minute he laid eyes on his boy, he knew that he was, indeed, capable of love, despite what he'd been through with his background.

The others were out taking care of walkers, leaving Daryl alone with Carol when her labor started. She told him to hand him a cloth. He assumed she wanted to wipe the sweat from her face, but to his surprise she shoved it deeply into her mouth. She couldn't cry, not when there were walkers around. So she pushed and she pushed and to both of their shock, only a muzzled cry from her could be heard from time to time. He'd never been prouder of her.

Once he realized he'd just delivered a boy, his boy, he went into shock. What was he going to do with a boy? What if it turned out like his daddy- or like Merle? He knew he knew how to handle him, but if the kid were to ever lay a hand on Carol- there would be hell to pay.

Finally a crying Carol took the rag out of her mouth. "Is she okay?" she whispered, crying from the pain in silence.

"It's a he. We have us a boy," he managed to say.

Carol grinned and started to laugh. A boy. She'd never thought about it, and her survival instinct said the group could use another boy, another Carl., another fighter, and most importantly, another Daryl. Daryl wasn't educated, she knew that about him, but he had street smarts. And in this day and age that was the best kind of smart to have. Thoughts of Sophia came to mind, and she knew her daughter had had a hand in this somehow. She wasn't sure what she thought of the afterlife, but she knew her daughter had been watching over her somehow. And now this...this twist of fate. A boy! She couldn't stop laughing.

"Something funny?" Daryl asked suspiciously.

"We have us a boy. You have a son. Can I see him?"

Daryl finished cutting the cord then wrapped the baby up and handed him reluctantly to his mother. A boy! Another him. Another Merle. Another warrior. The thought both delighted him and scared him to death.

Carol immediately kissed her son. He hadn't been cleaned up yet, but she didn't care. She was a mother again, she had another reason to live for, and for that she was truly happy. She didn't know how but she knew everything would be okay. Lori's baby was fine, and they were being sheltered in the house, but for now all she knew was that her life had meaning again. She had just given birth to a son- Daryl's son. In this apocalypse she'd never imagined that life would have meaning again, that she would ever fully love again, but she had, and it was a wonderful feeling.

"What should we name him?" Carol asked after putting the child to her breast to silence its cries. The baby eagerly latched on, almost as if it had also been born with a survivor's spirit.

"I don't know. I never thought about it."

'How about Jake?"

Daryl thought about it. It was a strong, masculine name like his and Merle's, but it was different at the same time.

He didn't say anything, for his eyes were starting to fill up with tears for the first time in his life. After making sure one last time that Carol and the baby were okay, he ran to the kitchen.

It all came out. His daddy, Merle. His mama. The walkers, the fighting, the deaths. Most of all, Carol. Now he couldn't imagine a world without her in it, and it just wasn't about the baby anymore. He knew that he loved her, and the thought scared him to death.

There was no way he would have taken a chance on anyone else bringing his kid into the world. Hershel was fine and dandy, but he was a member of the group now, so when the walkers came back it was obvious he was needed. Daryl broke down, thinking of all the bad things he'd done in his lifetime. What if his kid turned out like him, like his father, like Merle? What if a walker got him? That would never happen, not as long as he was around.

No wonder Carol cried all the time. It was hard to be strong, yet there was something so freeing about getting everything out in the open, at least to himself. He was a father. The thought was beginning to sink in when a weakened Carol appeared at the kitchen door.

She knew what was going on. There was a birth, true, but this was also the day of Daryl's rebirth. He could finally be free, finally have a future. He meant something to someone, a feeling he had never known before Carol. With that, he still felt strange whenever he thought about her love for him. But he'd seen Carl with Rick, knew how the kid idolized him, and the thought of his own kid doing the same with him was almost too much to take.

Carol had cleaned up the baby and wrapped him in a diaper and a blanket, all she had for him. She held him out for Daryl to hold. At first he wouldn't take the child. But Carol was persistent, and he opened his arms for the kid.

"Jake?" Daryl tried to nod down to wipe away his tears.

"Yes. It fits him, don't you think?He's strong, a fighter, like his daddy."

"do I look strong to you?"

"You're the strongest man I know," she calmly replied. For some reason he believed her.

"Carol..." he didn't look away from the baby. "There's something I never told you...somethin' I've been wanting to say..."

She smiled, knowing how difficult this was for him.

He didn't say it, but she knew what he was trying to, in his own Dixon way. He loved her. He really did. And if he had some stuff to work out, then she would give him all the time in the world. What else did they have?

She left him alone with the child, who was watching Daryl's every move with curiosity. It was as if he knew him, and Daryl didn't think that was possible. But here they were, two fighters, two men of strength, and he couldn't have felt any higher than he did at the moment.

There were so many questions, so many doubts. But he had to keep them to himself. He knew Carol would work herself up if she knew that he thought he'd be a lousy father. But as he looked into his son's eyes he swore then and there that his kid wouldn't be like him. Maybe a little- he would have to be strong to survive. But this kid would not know the back of a hand like Daryl had. He vowed things would be different. How that would happen, he didn't know, but he just knew.

He held on to his son for another second before returning Jake to his mother. As he watched Carol nurse her newborn, he looked at her through fresh eyes. She'd gotten a second chance to be a mother. He was kind of happy for her. She was an excellent mother, and a loving one too. She would never let anything happen to this kid, he was sure of it. So he closed the door and sat beside them in curious wonder, hoping this moment would never end. He had a son, he was a father, and he knew then that all the rules were different. The game was different. Time to be the man that he always wanted to be but didn't know how. Maybe his father hadn't taught him how to be a man, but Carol and now Jake had, and he almost kind of liked himself for that moment. It was a strange, wonderful feeling. But he knew better than to get used to it.


	10. Chapter 10

Rick pulled Daryl aside when he got back in, and heard the soft cries of Jake. Rick wearily smiled.

"How is she?"

"Good." Daryl paused. "We got us a boy."

It took Rick a minute to process the news before breaking out into a genuine smile. "And Carol?"

"She's fine."

Rick felt a sense of relief. After what had happened to Lori he had thought the same would happen to Carol, but apparently not. That was a good thing. He couldn't begrudge Daryl, one of the few men he trusted to have his back, a few moments of happiness. Rick had been through enough to know that dark times were still around the corner, but if somehow love prevailed during this tough time, then who was he to stop it.

"I remember when I found out Lori'd just had a boy," Rick started. "I was in the waiting room. She'd had a tough time. But I was so excited, yet scared at the same time. It meant I had a lot of growing up to do."

Daryl said nothing, even though he understood what Rick was getting at.

"Being a father changes everything, you know," Rick continued.

Daryl didn't really want to discuss things further; instead he nodded and went off for some alone time. He needed that, after the intensity of the day. He had to process what had happened. Carol had been so sure- he'd been so sure, that it would be a girl, that the idea of him having a son hadn't crossed his mind. He'd trusted Carol to raise a daughter- she was nurturing that way. But to have a son? He'd seen how hardened Carl had become, and knew that, if he survived, Jake would be the same way. He would have to. Daryl had a lot to teach his son, but for right now, it was a day by day process and he would figure things out.

0000

Jake was a few weeks old when Carol decided to take him to visit Sophia's grave. Daryl had managed to scrounge up a few pacifiers- he could be really resourceful that way- so she took a chance and brought him outside for some fresh air. She really sat and talked to Sophia, as if she were still alive.

She made her introductions. She told Sophia how happy she'd be with Daryl, with Jake. And most importantly she vowed that she would be a better mother to Jake than she had been to her daughter. She only prayed that Sophia could forgive her for everything.

Just then a man started walking the long stretch of road that led to the farm. Carol hadn't been paying attention, but Daryl had. She didn't know that Daryl had been watching her, but this was his son for crying out loud. He wasn't about to let Carol do something stupid just because she was feeling guilt.

Daryl walked behind Carol and Jake and drew his bow. The closer the man became the more Daryl started to feel sure it was a human, not a walker. But there was something so familiar about the strut, the way the man walked and carried himself. It wasn't but a few minutes later Daryl found himself staring into the cold hardened eyes and soul of the man who'd meant so much to him- it was his brother, Merle.

Merle stared at Carol and Jake then turned his focus back on his baby brother. Merle was like Daryl. He didn't have a lot of common sense, like Daryl had, but he was smart enough to realize what was going on.

"Why if it ain't my own baby brother?" Merle grinned wickedly. "Dont' tell me you're raising someone else's kid."

The way Daryl's eyes shot to Jake told Merle everything he needed to know. "You're a daddy now? Aint that a kick in the pants!" he laughed.

"Shut up! Are you trying to get us all killed?" Daryl whispered sharply. He'd never spoken to Merle like that before, but this time there was too much at stake. "Take him in the house," he ordered Carol.

"No no no, baby boy. Let me see this fine little lad of yours. What do you know," he snickered. "You have a boy of your own. Do you know what a little wuss that kid's going to be? He's never going to survive you know."

Daryl raised his bow. He didn't know what to do, but he had to protect his family.

Merle studied Jake carefully. He did have a lot of Dixon features. "Do you really think you're man enough to take old Merle out? You ain't got it in you, boy. You ain't got shit in you. You think you can keep this kid and old lady of yours safe? You didn't even come back for your big brother."

"We did," Daryl stated angrily as he steadied his aim.

Merle continued to snicker. "You're nothing but a little punk. Daddy was right to teach you a lesson now and then. Hell if you were my kid I would have knocked a little sense into you. I don't think that would have done any good. You've never been any good. You're a rotten, stupid, failure of a boy. That's right, I called you boy. You ain't no man. If you were you'd never bring another Dixon into this world. You think you got what it takes to take care of a family? You ain't got nothin', Daryl. Daddy was right. He always said you'd amount to nothin', and that's what it looks like. So you got some fast little swimmers. That don't mean shit."

Instead of eying Jake, Merle's attention turned to Carol. "Well well, look at you little lady. So you're the one who's been enjoying the company of my baby brother. You know what you did? You made him weak. He's gonna die because of you letting yourself get knocked up. You'll have blood on your hands lady. Not just of Daryl's but of your kid. Do you want that? I don't," he started to laugh. "I tell you what. You let me take that kid off your hands. You know I can protect him better than Daryl ever could. Do the right thing and ain't nobody gotta get hurt."

Carol looked at Daryl, frightened.

"Stay away from my family," Daryl ordered.

"Your family? Your family? You really think you got the brains to raise a family? You didn't even finish school, dummy. What do you know about kids?" He started to walk towards Carol, who was frozen in fear.

The baby sensed his mother's tension and began to cry.

"You hear that? He's gonna get you all killed. Tell you what...if you ain't man enough to do the right thing by this son of yours, I'll help you out."

With that, Daryl's bow hit it's aim, and both Carol and Daryl stared at what he'd just done. Daryl walked up and kicked the body, just to be sure, but there was no question as to what Daryl had just done.

"Look what you made me do, you stupid woman." Daryl shook his head then walked back into the house angrily.

Carol couldn't believe what had just happened. There was no way Daryl would forgive her for putting their son in danger. It was just that she had had to see Sophia, to let her know about Jake.

She quickly ran to the house to find the safety of her and Daryl and Jake's room, and this time she did not shed a tear. Merle wasn't worth it. But Daryl was worth everything to her and Jake. If only there were some way she could make him realize it.


	11. Chapter 11

Out of all of the horrendous things Carol had seen over the past year and a half, watching Daryl kill his brother ranked right up there with watching Sophia come out from the barn. She'd put up with a lot of abuse in her lifetime, so maybe that was what made her so sympathetic to the father of her child now. She knew he hadn't been treated well during his lifetime. He hadn't said it, but she just _knew. _Honestly, she realized she still didn't know that much about him, but she knew that Merle had been a lifeline for him. As long as he was still out there, he had hope, a feeling she better than anyone could relate to. But his loss came as a huge personal sacrifice to him, more than she ever dreamt him capable of, especially for her. Part of her felt guilty- years of abuse from Ed had made her feel like she wasn't worthy, somehow. All of those bruises over the years and no one had ever said anything to her or for her. It wasn't until Shane beat Ed up so badly that she thought that maybe, just maybe, she was worth fighting for.

She knew Daryl well enough however to know that he needed some time to process what had just happened. He wouldn't do anything stupid- he was a survivor first and foremost. But what would happen next between them, she didn't know. Was this wound too deep for him to recover from in order to be with her? It was probably just as well. She should have learned long ago not to believe in anything.

She watched her son sleep, and leaned over to kiss him. As the parent, she was responsible for keeping Jake safe, and she had put him in jeopardy. That ugly scene was the result of her own careless actions, and she hated herself for it. It was like Sophia all over again.

She crawled up in bed after laying the baby down in his bed, a makeshift crib that Daryl had made, and tried to go to sleep. Even after all of this time she thought she'd seen everything bad that could happen. But for her to put Daryl in the position that she had-well she knew it would be her fault if he never forgave her.

It wasn't long, however, before she learned of her boyfriend's fate. He walked into their room around three a.m. He didn't say anything; instead he just looked around the room first at Jake and then at her.

Their eyes met, and she saw the steely resolve that she'd come to recognize in him.

He took off his shirt then crawled in beside her.

"Why'd you let him do it," he muttered.

"Who?"

"That piece of trash husband of yours. You were a mother. You could have gotten away."

"You really think I could have survived this without him?"

He sighed, audibly annoyed. "Before this." His patience wasn't his strong suit, and he was losing it quickly.

"I don't know. Maybe I didn't know any better," she looked down at the floor.

"You were her mother! You didn't think he'd come after her next?"

"There was a moment," she admitted. "Right before he died where I thought...I thought..."

He understood what she meant. Had he known that Ed might never have made it as long as he had.

"Some people just ain't worth livin', I guess," he finally said.

Now it was Carol's turn for sympathy. "You are," she replied honestly.

He didn't say anything, but he didn't protest when she kissed his forehead.

"You kept your son safe. You did something I couldn't do for my own daughter."

"You really think that everything's your fault, don't you?"

"Don't you?"

He studied her carefully inside the moonlit room. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Analyze me or whatever. I ain't your project."

"Have I ever treated you like you were?"

"Maybe a little."

She squeezed his hand. "I'm sorry. I just see something in you that keeps me going, gives me hope you know? Sometimes that's about all I have. I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable. I won't do it again."

She rolled over to go to sleep, but Daryl wouldn't let her. He leaned her in towards him and kissed her back, unsure of himself but trusting it was the right thing to do. He wanted her, but he knew it was too soon. Instead he just crawled beside her and held her throughout the night. After all this time, he'd grown used to her cries. But it wasn't until that moment that he realized just how nice her kiss could be sometimes.

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

Carol watched Daryl closely over the next few weeks. If he was upset over what had happened to his brother, he hadn't said. In fact, he hadn't said much of anything. He was hardly around, and when he was, he didn't pay her much attention. He looked at Jake, and she knew Daryl was never far from his sight, but he wasn't picking him up or anything that a new father typically did. Rick had noticed this and had even asked Carol if she wanted him to say something to Daryl. But she refused, knowing that her boyfriend was a private person.

In her heart she knew that it was her job to say something, but she was never really good at getting her needs met. That's probably why she'd stuck it out with Ed for so long- she couldn't speak up for herself. It had started years before she met Ed in high school. Her father was a cruel, cruel man, and so when Ed came along and swept her off her feet, it seemed like a fairy tale.

But obviously it had been more of a nightmare but she'd learned to deal with things. But she'd never expected anything like a zombie apocolypse, so her survival skills were severely tested every day. She knew she'd failed Sophia, but she had a new reason to live for. She couldn't let Jake down, she just couldn't.

Man she missed the days of television, when she would sit around and watch talk show hosts analyze women and tell them what was missing from their lives. She could use the distraction and the education now. Never had she believed in love before, not with a man anyways. Some things were just the way they were, and that's the way life had worked for her. But now she had Daryl, in a way, and the whole ballgame had changed.

She loved him. There was no doubt of that. But whenever she broached the subject he would pull back, and the last thing Carol wanted to do was to scare him off. He would come to her, in his own way and his own time. But it was hard, she admitted, to love such a hard-headed man. But Daryl was everything that Ed wasn't, and for that she knew she would care about him forever.

Was it love? Lust? A little of both? Neither? She wished Lori were around to talk to about things, but fate had other plans. Andrea wasn't really the best listener, and Maggie was too young to have experienced much of life or love. Rick had been so distracted that she was afraid to approach him. All she had was a cynical view of God, and she had been barely holding on to that. So for the most part all she had was Jake and Daryl. Not that she wasn't thankful. She had more than most people around here had, and she knew it and was grateful for that.

One night Daryl came in her room late at night, and she could have sworn he was drunk. Maybe he'd been to town. He sat down a satchel of things, threw it at her actually, and went to look at Jake. She watched him study his son. Sometimes she wondered if it had really hit him that he was a father.

"You okay?" Daryl muttered.

"Yes. I was just wondering where you were. I haven't seen you for a few hours- none of us have."

"Don't you want to know what I got for you?"

She smiled and went over to the bag. Inside was a bag full of clothes, baby clothes. How much effort had he went through to find this stuff? And her heart bled for she knew what the clothes represented.

"Thank you."

"Look at the bottom."

She dug around until she saw a dress, a long flowery sundress, and her smile widened. He remembered that she loved pretty clothes once, it was always a weakness of hers, and he'd thought of her. Sometimes he could be thoughtful- when he wanted to be.

She held it up to her, and examined it closely. It was a little big, but that was okay. She hadn't had anything for herself in so long she almost forgot what the feeling felt like.

He nodded and then climbed in bed together. As the moon lit up their room she pondered the status of their relationship.

"Got somethin' on your mind?" Daryl asked, a bit annoyed by all of her tossing and turning.

"No, nothing. Good night. You've had a hard day. You need your sleep."

"Damn it," he cursed as he sat up. "When are you going to learn to speak up for yourself?"

"When are you?" she replied back quietly.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean, what do you want from me? Do you love me? Am I the only available woman in the world and I just keep you busy? I don't want you to want me like that."

"What do you want from me, Carol? I bust my ass all day to keep you and Jake safe and you don't even know it. I come home to you...always."

"And I love you for that."

He looked at her closely. "I ain't perfect."

"I don't want you to be perfect. I want you, Daryl. I want all of you."

"I'm sorry I ain't perfect."

"I don't want you to be perfect," Carol emphasized while slightly touching his face. "I just want to know I'm yours."

He didn't say anything. She flinched out of reflect, afraid that she'd upset him.

"What, you think I'd hurt you? I ain't Ed. I ain't a walker. I'm me. You probably know me better than anyone. I can't be everything to everyone."

"You're all Jake and I need."

He didn't say much. "You too," he settled on saying.

She smiled. That was all she needed to know.

He got up and started pacing the floor.

She watched him. "I'm happy we met."

"Like this? Like the damn end of the world? Good to know."

"You saved me."

He wasn't quite sure he understood, but he thought he knew where she was going.

"I never thought I could be happy. There are days where I can't stop thinking of Sophia, but I was in such a dark place, and you found me and you saved me. For that I can't thank you enough."

He wanted to tell her that it was her who saved him. She gave him a reason to live, to keep going, to be a better man, but words weren't his strong suit. Instead he took her hand, pulled her up, and drew the curtain, just a little bit. He shocked her by pulling her close to him and he held her, so closely and so intimately that they wound up dancing almost. It was one of the most romantic moments of her life.

In the great darkness that was life, they'd found each other, and in doing so, had found hope, and could keep going, even for just one more day.

TBC


	13. Chapter 13

Daryl woke up in a sweat. Thoughts of Merle had overtaken whatever moment of peace he'd found, and he was mad. Mad, and confused. He never dreamed of hurting his own brother, let alone killing him, but he knew what his brother was capable of. He'd always been mean, maybe some people were just born that way.

Smart enough to realize he couldn't go outside, he carefully got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen to see if he could salvage something to eat. Any kind of distraction from what he was feeling would be much appreciated.

Damn her, he thought bitterly. She'd changed everything. She changed the game, his world, and he kind of resented her for it. If only she hadn't gotten herself pregnant he could take off whenever he wanted, for whatever he wanted, and there would have been nothing to hold him back.

But now he had a kid. A son. This was nuts. They were nuts to bring a kid into this world, but it was what it was, and, as resourceful as he was, he tried to make do the best he could with his ever changing circumstances. They were everywhere, the walkers, but still the farm was the safest place for his kid.

Images of a walker Merle filled his mind. Thankfully it hadn't gotten that far, but still, it kind of creeped him out knowing what might have happened to his brother. If only they'd gotten him from the top of the building, maybe none of this would have happened.

He wouldn't have his kid if Merle had been around, that was for sure. He would have put a stop to anything that had happened between Daryl and Carol, maybe it would have been better that way. It was so stressful taking care of a kid, looking for food, fighting the walkers, that sometimes he wondered if it would be better off if he just took off, looking for God knew what.

But he couldn't do that, not now. He had a kid to look after, and even though he hadn't had much of a family, it was still the most important thing to him. Why did Merle have to do what he did? It didn't have to be that way, or maybe it did. Daryl didn't know. He knew that things had changed, and things that used to be important were no longer so. And things that once had no meaning- well, they were different now.

Carol coughed lowly, announcing herself to him. "Is everything okay?"she asked.

"What do you think?"

"I think you're going through something. You might feel better if you got it out of your system."

"Do I look like I want to talk?"

"It might help. You never know," she smiled warmly at him.

"Why can't you leave me alone? You have to be everywhere, all the time." It wasn't an accusation, just more of a statement.

She touched his hand, but he pulled back, so she knew that she had made progress with him. Whenever they took a step forward, like they had that night, they went two steps back. Or at least Daryl did. But that was okay. That was their thing, and she felt strangely secure in his distance. It meant, in a weird way, that he cared, and she knew that he knew that she recognized that in him.

"You're good to him."

Daryl looked at her as if she was crazy. "Yeah, Merle. I was so good to him, wasn't I?"

"I mean Jake. He's going to get through this."

"How do you know that? You know what this world is like..."

"Is that why you don't hold him much?"Carol asked.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"I've noticed for some time that you don't really hold Jake, you pass him off to me or someone else. Is there a reason for that?"

He didn't say anything. He knew that she was right, and he had his reasons, but she wouldn't understand. Maybe she would, she was kind of good about that kind of stuff. But still he couldn't reveal his reasons, not just yet.

Just then they heard the screams of an infant. It was definitely Jake. Carol's eyes met Daryl's, and they both raced into his room.

As it turned out, Carl had picked him up.

"What are you doing?" Daryl asked suspiciously.

"He was awake. I heard him. I just wanted to bring him to you..."

"You don't touch him unless we tell you to, got that?"

"Daryl, he was only trying to help," Carol spoke up.

He looked at her, then Carl, and finally his son. He knew what he had to do. He took Jake from Carl, and held him closely for what seemed like the first time.

Daryl nodded at Carl, his way of apologizing. Carol hugged Carl and then he went off to bed. Before Carl left he told them, "I won't let anything happen to him." He looked at them for a second, then went off to bed.

Jake had settled down, not quite asleep but not quite awake either. Daryl started to hand him off to carol, who refused.

"What am I supposed to do with him?"

"You'll figure it out," she smiled before going back to clean up the kitchen.

Daryl watched his son watch him. He fought back tears as he realized everything that he'd given up for this boy. And after a minute of holding him, he knew that he would do the same things over again for his boy.

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

"I got him," Daryl said the next day as Carol woke up, looking for her son.

"How long have you been up..has he been up?"

"Not long."

She smiled. "I think it's almost noon. I haven't slept like that since...since..."

They both knew what she meant.

"You can go outside if you want, get you some fresh air."

She looked at him closely. "It's okay. It's my job to look after him."

"I said I got him," he emphasized. He was trying to do something nice, and she resisted. He couldn't help but think that Carol didn't trust him alone with their kid. He didn't blame her. Maybe if he were in her shoes he'd feel the same way.

She looked at Jake then at Daryl and smiled. She kissed them both on the cheeks before grabbing a change of clothes- and a gun- and headed towards the creek to wash up.

This was kind of nice. Usually she had Maggie watch Jake while she washed up, but now she could afford to take a little more time. Alone in her thoughts, Carol was still aware that the walkers could be anywhere. They couldn't stay safe forever, but while they were here, it was as close to heaven as they could get.

She had no idea, honestly, how all of this would end. Would they all survive? Would she lose again? The thought was too much so she scrubbed herself as hard as she could, trying to wash away memories of the past. She knew that Daryl struggled with allowing himself to be happy- she understood that better than anyone, because she was like that too. She just didn't show that too much to him, he'd been through so much. But yes. She often questioned if it was too much to expect to be happy during this time, after her painful past.

After coming to no real conclusion, she dried off and dressed and slowly headed back to the barn. It had done her some good to be alone, even if she didn't notice it. But Daryl observed her changed mood. He summed it up to the sleep, but even he understood- probably more so than anyone else- the need for alone time.

"He's sleepin'," he told her as she sat down beside him. "Ain't you gonna check on him?"

"No. He was with you. He's fine."

They both looked at each other.

He half-smiled at the implications of her statement. She trusted him with her kid, and he was smart enough to realize how huge of a deal that was. He'd been fighting back thoughts, thoughts he wasn't sure he was ready for. But it was almost the year anniversary of Sophia's death, and he wanted to do something to help her deal with it. It was huge- the hugest decision he'd ever made in his life. But after observing and getting know Carol and raising a kid together, not to mention fighting off the walkers together, there was no longer any doubt in his mind what the right thing to do was.

He looked down at the floor when he asked her. "Wanna get married?" he managed to ask.

Carol was honestly shocked. The thought had never occurred to her, so just the fact that he'd been the one to bring it up was huge.

"I thought you said you weren't the marrying kind," she reminded him.

"Maybe I've changed."

She took his hand. "You have changed, but you know what? You're still Daryl Dixon. You're still the man I got to know at the camp forever ago. You're a good person. You don't have to do this. I know why you asked."

"Why did I?"

"Because you want me to get my mind off of Sophia," Carol smiled weakly.

"I wouldn't ask just for that. I don't want you to forget her. I just thought.."

"What did you think?"

"I just thought it would be the right thing to do."

Now she broke out into a full smile, the first one he'd seen come across her face in a long time. Every day was marred by the thought of the walkers out there, by the ghosts of Sophia and Merle. But now, in this step he was proposing, they both could go on with their lives, at least in the best way they could.

"Ministers are kind of hard to come by these days," she lamented.

"I thought Rick could...he's an officer of the law ain't he?"

She'd never thought about Rick. "You know what? That just might work. Thank you, Daryl."

He didn't say much back, but he did let her pull him close to her. She kissed him, and before he could kiss her back the baby started to cry.

Babies, marriage, walkers, guns and arrows. What a crazy world they were living in. As Daryl watched Carol pick up the baby to comfort him, he knew without a doubt there was no one that he'd rather have at his side in this crazy world than Carol.


	15. Chapter 15

Today was a momentous day for the group at Hershel's farm. There would be a wedding, a real wedding, and Rick would officiate. This was a long time in coming, and for once, the group was coming together for a joyous occasion rather than the stress of daily life that they'd all become accustomed to.

It was night time, and after a relatively peaceful day, the group gathered around the embers that Rick had started (never a full fire) and waited. Waited for the groom, waited for the bride. Maggie and Glen were inside babysitting little Jake and Judith but yet somehow no one noticed their absence. This was a day a long time in coming, and the first ceremony that they'd participated in since it all started.

First Daryl came out, wearing his traditional sleeveless shirt and looking a bit nervous. He had recalled his words to her when this all began- "I ain't the marrying kind." Little did he know how a kid, Carol, and the apocalypse would change his mind. This wasn't the way he would have wanted it to be, but under the circumstances, it was the best he and Carol could arrange.

Then Carol came out, wearing the dress Daryl had found for her previously. Her hair had grown out somewhat by now, and she held on to a Cherokee Rose, a private symbol of his love for her that he had given her prior to the ceremony. It would would be a Native American ceremony, not a traditional one, but still, it had meaning and significance to them that the others would not understand. But Carol knew. She had always known.

First the others started to present their "gifts."

Hershel handed Carol an ear of corn, one that he'd grown himself, a symbol of fertility. "Not that you two need this," he laughed, and even Daryl had to smile. They would definitely be more careful in the future, but neither of them regretted a moment with Jake for a second.

Rick presented Daryl with a feather, a symbol of loyalty. If anyone had earned that symbol it was Daryl. He'd proven himself trustworthy, handy to have in a bad situation, and after what he'd done to Merle, he'd shown that indeed loyalty to his family was the most important thing to him. Daryl may not have always expressed it correctly, but Rick knew that if his life or his kids' lives were ever in danger (when weren't they, really?) it was Daryl who would have their back. And he couldn't have been more grateful to Daryl. Rick looked at Daryl as he presented the stone, and Daryl nodded his head. Maybe he couldn't have seen all the changes in himself, but the group could. This was a significant moment for the group, indeed.

Rick smiled as he looked at Carol, whom he'd never seen look so happy. She had been through so much, lost so much- they all had. But perhaps it was she and Daryl who had gained the most throughout this ordeal. He wasn't quite sure of what he would say, what he should say, but he noticed what they all had been noticing for some time- the little glances between them.

"God in heaven, if you still exist, please protect the ones we love. We honor all you created as Daryl and Carol pledge their hearts and lives together. We honor Mother Earth and ask for their marriage to be abundant and grow stronger through the seasons. We honor fire and ask that their union be warm and glowing with love in their hearts. We honor wind and ask that they sail through life safe and calm as in our father's arms. We honor water to clean and soothe their relationship - that it may never thirst for love. With all the forces of the universe you created, we pray for harmony as they grow forever young together. Amen."

It was the traditional Cherokee wedding ceremony, and Rick, while understanding little of Daryl and Carol's relationship, had come to see how much the Cherokee rose had meant to her, to them. He would see her with one ever so often, sometimes when he passed by Sophia's grave he would see one planted nearby. So, with Daryl's help, he prepared this ceremony, glad to be able to provide service for two people he had come to care about. Although he'd long stopped wearing his uniform, he donned it for the occasion and found it strangely comforting. Perhaps it was time for new beginnings for everyone.

Daryl kissed Carol briefly, and while the crowd wanted to applaud, their survival instincts kicked in and they realized that to smile would be more appropriate. Carol knew this was no ordinary wedding- there would be no honeymoon. Besides, they had to get back to Jake. But before they went in, Carol walked ahead of Daryl, and he knew exactly where she was going.

This was the first time she didn't cry at Sophia's grave. Instead she told her all about the ceremony, about Rick's service, about Jake. Most importantly Carol told her daughter, or at least her daughter's spirit, how much she loved her and would always love her.

"It's weird..." Carol took a deep breath. "In losing you...I don't know how this happened but I did find life again. It's like you had a plan for Mommy's life, and I can still feel you watching over me. You brought Daryl and I together, and now we have Jake and are married." She stopped again to think of what she wanted to say. "You taught Mommy how to love, and now I have it. I miss you, Sophia. I really do. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. But life goes on- it has to. Daryl taught me that. He's taught me so many things, how to live, how to think for myself, how to breathe again. Some days it's just one day at a time. Other days I can actually see a future for myself. Mommy wishes that future included you, but I'm learning to go on. I hope you can forgive Mommy for going on. I want to see you again, for us to be a real family. But until then, I'm going to fight. I'm going to fight for Jake, for Daryl, for the others. I can't let _them _win. If I did then losing you would be in vain, and I won't let that happen. I love you, sweetheart." A single tear, a tear of sadness, a tear of happiness, trickled down her face.

"I love you too."

Carol turned around and was shocked at what she'd heard. That was the first time she'd ever heard Daryl say those words to her, to anyone, and she knew what it had cost him to get to that point. She would always be grateful for the man who tried to save her daughter's life, but in actually, gave her her own life back. He'd saved her, but what Carol didn't know was that she saved Daryl. She saved him from a life of solitude, of isolation, of never knowing what love meant. They had found each other, and for that, they had discovered that they were alive again. No matter what happened around them, if the world fell apart, they had each other and Jake and Sophia's memory. Just for that simple fact nothing could ever touch them. Never.

The end

**A/N: I would like to thank all of my readers and reviewers and followers for staying with me throughout this journey. I don't want it to end, I feel as if there are more stories for this family. Maybe a sequel could be done at some point. But for now I wanted to reward those who stayed and enjoyed my story, thank you once again. If you haven't commented I would love to hear from you. Thanks.**


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